Sunday, December 5, 2010

I think I forgot how to blog...

I only posted 4 times in November. FOUR? I've had post phobia. I've actually opened my blogger 3 times this weekend for the most massive update and closed out. I'm not sure where to start or catch up. Hell, is anyone reading this deserted space in the world wide web any more?

Thankgod November is over. I think the hubs and I slept a total of 8 hours the entire month. I wish that was a joke. Looking back, I couldn't type anything because I had quite a pissy outlook at life. The combo of dog-tired parents and an iron-willed two-year-old is not a pretty one.

I wasn't sure if I was going to post about this and I'm not ever sure every detail will surface here. I suppose if you want to to know more you can ask. I'll be more than happy to share the nitty gritty if there are any questions.

We have a head banger. It hurts me to type that. We read just about every article I've found on the subject. Here are a couple quickie Q&As if you care to see what it is. Click here and here and here. Head banging and two year nighttime tantrums are damn near lethal together.

It's scary. It sucks. And there is nothing we can do about it but hope and wish that this phase will pass as quickly as it came on. The funny (well not funny at all, really) thing is that she started this so late in the game - like at 31 months.

Anyway, these fits started one early early morning around 1AM and carried on for 1.5 - 2 hours. It continued nightly for about a 7 or 8 week period. Yes, you read that right. The best part about it for me is that she timed these nighttime tantrums exactly between Deuce's nightly feeding. I'm fairly certain I didn't sleep from 12:30AM - 4:30AM for weeks. And up until that first night it happened, she had been an all-night sleeper since 8 weeks. We never had a sleeping problem with her. Ever. No Ferber or any other sleep training method was necessary from the get go.

During the daylight hours she is the sweet angel you all know and love. Not one person I've talked to about it hasn't needed me to pick up their jaw when they listen to her story. Not a one. She is fantastic for her teachers, grandparents, friends, aunts, uncles, even the mailman. Everyone. We knew it was bad when the neighbors were talking with us and asking if she was okay - they could hear her screaming from their house. We don't share walls. Her bedroom is in the middle of our house. Who knows where theirs is on their side of the fence....say at least 25 feet? Probably more. Where did this demon come from? Seriously.

Our pediatrician is a godsend. She has called me after hours just to check in, reassure me and hand hold. We had tried just about everything under the sun to get her to sleep but at the same time not give in. We had to break her will. What's stronger than iron? Whatever that is, is what Fal has.

And we won. She might have an iron-will but this mama doesn't like to lose.

I was giving her a bath over Thanksgiving break. She was in a rather pleasant mood and I took full advantage. I was asking her how school was going and other typical questions covering the day. Then out came the gloves, she had no idea where I was going with it. I asked her why she liked to scream in the middle of the night. She didn't reply. I then asked her why she liked to wake up and run around the house and bang her head (on the walls, the bed, the floor?). Here's the part I didn't expect. She looked up from her bath toy coyly smiled and said "because I like to, Mommy." Just like that. I was a mixed bag of happy and pissed at the same time. Happy because the worst case was just thrown out the window. Pissed because she just taken us on the most tireless emotional roller coaster ever. Near two months of questioning every parental decision we had made with her was a mindfuck. On the upside, we don't have to worry about her wavering over picking out colleges?

Now that I knew she was just manipulating us for fun, I decided to really toss the ball in her court and make her think she had the power. I knew she is receptive to charts, she was potty trained in just one. We whipped up a "sleeping chart" the next morning. She'd earn a sticker every morning she woke up in bed without crying, throwing a tantrum in the middle of he night. Whowouldathunk that she would have 7 stickers on that chart since.

It's amazing what sleep can do to one's outlook on life. Let's hope the trend continues.

Now if I can get my 5 month old sleep, I'll be a new woman!

4 comments:

Abbie Winter said...

oh mama.... she is sooo your child!!! I had to laugh at her comment. But you mama, you are too smart!!! Thinking about you.. hoping for some zzzzzzzs!!! xooxox

Jamie said...

When I need some child advice, I'm coming to you, that's for sure!! You are awesome Jo mama! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that she continues to do well!

BJEBREWINGTON said...

Oh Jo.....I can't begin to imagine your pain with F.....I hope she continues to do well and sleep through the night with no screaming or head banging. Hugs to you and C!!!!

The Ciunis said...

omg, i am so glad to hear that you found a way to handle it. sometimes they do the most obscure things and just leave you wondering what in the world they are thinking (and what the hell to do)!! good job! another victory for mama.

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