Evolution of Deuce's belly button

Some of you may have already heard this one...but since she's all healed with a beautiful innie, I don't feel like I'll go straight to hell in Dorthy's handbasket for talking about it.

So, her cord dried and scabbed. No big deal, just as every other baby's does. It even looked the same. See?
Then my pretty girl started to stink and it wasn't just any type of stink. It was a clouded stench like Linus from Peanuts. I had to hold my breath and breathe through my mouth (not kidding) when I was feeding her. Somehow my handsome hubs couldn't smell it. I mean, I know he's a bit wee-bit deaf from Afghanistan but I don't think they took his sense of smell, too.

And then it fell off.

It left behind (for lack of a better description) a penis-looking membrane sticking about a quarter of an inch out of her button. The hubs and I were mortified at the thought of Deuce going through life with this thing pointing through shirts. And bikinis? Forget about it. We decided to see if it was going to dry up and fall off in two stages. I wasn't going to call the doc, just yet.

Sure enough we awoke the next day to a dried up penis-lookalike. Thank god. I had been playing through scenarios with the pediatrician in trying to convince her that I wasn't vain but wanted my daughter to not have this ugly outtie. Thankfully, I wouldn't need to. We took the kids to the beach for a picnic and a swim. You can see the hubs and Fal in the water :) IMG_2042
When we got home she knocked off the scab and it started bleeding. It wasn't just a trickle either. Her button pooled up and overflowed. I couldn't risk an infection, so off to the pedi we went. She looked at it and said casually, "it's a granuloma. We'll fix it right up." Not much convincing necessary. I was ready for my whole schpeel and everything. She applied a silver nitrate stick to cauterize the granuloma. She also mentioned that due to its size, it would need at least two applications.

I didn't take pictures before because I didn't feel right mocking a penis-looking belly button on my week old daughter. Trust me when I say it wasn't a pretty sight. If you're feeling adventurous google umbilical granuloma images.
Here she is after the first application. She's mad I'm even taking a pic of it looking like this....imagine the black crusted area pink and not dried up. Oh emmm gee. It's a babe for goodness sake.
The second treatment looked similar but smaller.

This is the finished product :) The last bit of residue from the silver nitrate will wear off and she will have a perfect looking innie like the rest of us. No plastic surgeon necessary.
And she lived happily in crop-top heaven after.


I am glad that B is okay now!! I have never heard of that so thank you for sharing....for furture use maybe.
Jamie said…
Your stories crack me up Jo! I LOVE the way you word things! Poor girl! Glad she lives happily ever after :)

Popular Posts